Shosholoza Meyl train rides

During July Sally and I travelled on the train to Johannesburg and back. We went for the wedding celebration between our daughter Cindy and Dom Wentzel.

Here is the feedback that we gave to the railway operator on our experience with travelling on ShosholozaMeyl. travelled Tourist Class from Cape Town – Johannesburg and back.

We enjoyed the two trips very much. We found the trips comfortable and relaxing.

We appreciated being in a 4 sleeper compartment going to Johannesburg so that neither of us had to climb onto the top bunk. We were comfortable enough in the two-sleeper coupe for the return trip. It was ironic, however, that we as a senior couple and a US senior couple were in the two coupes of carriage 10 (we in 10C and they in 10D) although a young unmarried couple who had not booked managed to get moved from the sitter section to 10B, ironic because they were not related and of opposite sex. It appears, from what I heard in the wee hours of the morning, that a man embarking in Kimberley was dissatisfied with being put into a compartment with three women.

The food and service were good and friendly. I think better on the trip up than the return trip. The waitress going up was far more flexible and accommodating when I asked for toast to replace bacon for breakfast, whereas on the return trip it was cheese and nothing besides cheese could replace bacon! But she did relent later and brought a second egg to replace the bacon, but did charge for a second slice of toast.

The service is not as good as we remember from the 1970s and 1980s, so hopefully they are working towards getting at least that level of service again. That said, I was impressed that a man who I heard introducing himself to a foreign passenger as the manager, was very much involved with the passengers and staff on the trip back. He interacted with the passengers and gave some information regarding the reasons for being delayed by rail maintenance.

Bedding should be easy enough to have in sufficient quantities. It should be easy enough to predict how much is needed, especially after making one or two mistakes. Rather have more than is needed than insufficient.

The kitchen ran out of milk, fruit juice and other supplies. Again, it should be fairly easy to predict with a little experience, and surely you have enough experience? Perhaps if passengers from the sitter section take bedding and dine in the dining car then that would make prediction more challenging?

It was frustrating that the heater was not working in our compartment. I did not ask if other heaters were working, but with-2 degree weather outside, the heater was missed. I was impressed that on the return trip a young staff member mentioned when I asked if the heater would be working, that it would not because it only worked with the steam locomotives. I was impressed on two counts, because he was probably too young to remember either working heaters or steam locomotives and I thought that maybe his telling me that indicated that he has some personal care and interest in his work, and that perhaps Spoornet is giving some background training to their staff.

The train ran almost 4 hours late without really clear explanation, or any explanation at all, on the trip up, but with better explanation on the return trip. It was explained that there was maintenance being undertaken on the rails tracks.

Something in the undercarriage of sleeper unit 8 on the trip up was making a really loud flapping noise such that it sounded a lot of the time as though we were traveling in a steam or diesel locomotive. I could not make out if it was a compressed air noise our something like a spring or pipe flapping with a resonance. Carriage 10 on the return trip was impressively quiet.

I was surprised that 220V power for cellphones or laptop computers is not available in this day and age. Wi-Fi connection might also be easy enough to supply, and the increased clientele will surely make these more than pay for themselves.

The door of 10C for the return trip was extremely heavy to open and close. I found that some of the fabric from the mat had ripped off and was sticking out from under the door. I suspect that there may be more fabric causing the door to stick. I suggest that compressed air may help to remove some material from the bottom slider, but it would probably be well to remove the door and service the top and bottom runner parts.

It might be an idea to give staff name badges. This will enable passengers to interact better with them by name, as well as enabling communicating compliments and complaints such as I am doing. Some staff were apparently far more enthusiastic and interested in their work than others.

It might also be worth drawing up a simple feedback slip to be placed in each compartment so that passengers can evaluate the trip and facilities.

We felt that the general care and maintenance were lacking. The walls and facilities are grubby and not in as good working order as they could be. As also mentioned, perhaps in this day and age power sockets and Wi-Fi could be supplied?

You may consider a simple play and/or entertainment area for children.

We wish you great success in providing increasingly good and favourable service. I am recommending train travel to others, so I trust that they will not regret following my recommendation. I love South Africa and am proud of my beloved country. I believe that we can give quality rail experience for passengers, and constantly improve as we learn from past experience.

Kind regards

Leslie W. Powrie

Harvest, the devourer, dangers, and blessings in disguise

I shared an analogy with the youth today. I ended up teaching them with no warning and no preparation, and shared an analogy that has been developing in my mind. The theme is Marriage and Family and I chose to teach about learning and teaching in the home. 

It is as though we each have a farm, and each of us has the same size farm, with the same potential. It has 168 hectares of good soil, and we are allowed to do with it as we see fit. Each hectare represents an hour in the week. The harvest that we will eventually reap will depend on the amount, kind and quality of seed that we sow, or do not sow. If we sow maize and tend it well, then we have the potential of harvesting an abundant maize harvest. If we do not plant all 168 hectares then we will not reap the maximal harvest. It is also feasible that we can sow the entire area and do all that we possibly can to ensure the harvest, but then at the last moment before a very promising and exciting harvest we can lose everything due to lightning striking and causing all to be burned up, or there could be locusts or hail that destroy the crop, and we might harvest little or nothing. That is not a measure of failure on our part, but the harvest will not be what we hoped. 

The harvest is a result of our effort, but far more significantly and important is the sunlight, fresh air, rainwater and soil nutrients and quality that are provided free by a loving and provident Father. All that we reap is a free gift to us, and nothing is fully guaranteed or deserved. True, we will not have any promise if we do not sow, but even with our most faithful effort we still are dependent on the providence from above. Our input costs remain the same if we plant for the maximum harvest whether we have no harvest or the most capacious harvest. So everything is entirely due to the goodness of God. He invites us to give back 10% of our harvest, thereby showing our gratitude for the harvest. In return, He promises us in Malachi 3:11 that ‘I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts.’ We can then hope for the maximum harvest in accordance with our greatest efforts. We cannot hope for more, and can hope that there will not be less. But if we do not bring our tithes into the storehouse, so that there will be meat in His house, then we cannot hope for any such blessing of protection from the devourer or the variableness of nature. We cannot complain if the devourer destroys the fruits of our ground. 

But, by the same token, even if we seem to have mishaps, we cannot always know what protection we may have enjoyed. We may have been spared far greater mishap that would have happened, and the small mishap that we do experience may be simply to try our faith. My son Richard pointed out that sometimes the mishaps might be because Heavenly Father knows our potential and is preparing us for a greater harvest. He cited the example of a field that needs to be burned in order to have a better harvest the following year. After thinking about this, I thought more and realised that it might be for us to learn a lesson, or for someone else to learn a lesson from the way that we handle our loss. We need to be trusting enough to accept the loss and not ask 'why?' but 'how?'. How do we move forward, rather than why did we experience the loss?

I am fully confident that very often we are spared a lot of problems and have blessings in disguise. I say this because of thoughts that have come to me as I have pondered the promise given in my patriarchal blessing that many physical dangers and difficulties shall continue to pass by me, giving unto me blessings in disguise. One such blessing was that I was not bitten by a puff adder that was right next to me. I wonder how many times I have been spared from dangers, but on this one occasion it happened while I was pondering on the promises given in Mark 16:18, Luke 10:19 and Doctrine and Covenants 84:72 and whether I as a young LDS missionary was worthy enough to be given this blessing should I be bitten by a snake on this occasion when I was alone for a very brief time in Kloof Gorge. I wonder how many times I have been blissfully unaware of such protection, and even complained that I do not see the blessings in my life, but that was because they were ‘blessings in disguise’.

Ye may know with a perfect knowledge

The Saviour Jesus Christ personally invited all in Matt11:28 ‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.’ This is very clear and inclusive. At the same time, He personally said in Matt 7:21 ‘Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.’ He clarified that it is those who do the will of the Father that shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.

On the one hand he offers a free gift, but on the other hand he tells the cost of discipleship. I certainly would not feel comfortable sitting at a celestial banquet with the likes of Adam, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Christ and others who paid the high prices of discipleship and feel like their peer if I had done nothing in line with the will of the Father. I would feel like a fraud.

It is true in this life that we do not get anything for nothing, and I suggest that it is equally true in the promise of celestial glory. Let it be quite clear that it is by grace that we are saved. All will be resurrected. The physical redemption is free and applies to every mortal who has lived, does live or will live. But the spiritual redemption, exaltation and eternal life, which I visualise as ‘sitting with the noble and great ones at the celestial banquet’ will be for those who do the will of the Father, but the redemption is still a free gift, for we cannot save ourselves.

If you ever have the feeling that these promises apply to others and not to you, then I would suggest that you ‘can know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night’ (Moroni 7:15) that such thoughts are inspired by the devil because Christ’s invitation is always to all – ‘Come unto me’. Verse 13 of Moroni 7 says ‘But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God’, and verse 17 says ‘But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.’

Moroni 7:16 says ‘For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.’

We invite you to each write your own 13 Articles of Faith next to those of the Church. Please do not give in to the temptation to say ‘Oh, I don’t believe that’. Write what you do believe and commit to it. It is fine if it is different to those that we believe, then at least you have something by which to measure your belief and associated actions. But if our beliefs are not in harmony with your beliefs, then please ask yourself seriously if you will feel comfortable standing before God one day and explaining why you had your name associated with a Church whose beliefs you did not support.

If this is the Church of Jesus Christ as we claim, then you have made covenants, and you will be asked by God to account for how you kept those covenants. If you do not subscribe to them, then why is your name associated with us? If we are not the Church of Jesus Christ then you will be asked why you had your name associated with the church of the devil. How are you doing the will of the Father?

1 We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
2 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.
3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.
4 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
5 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.
6 We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
7 We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
8 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
9 We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.
11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

In Gethsemane Jesus Christ said in Doctrine and Covenants19:18 that He did ‘tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink’. He preceded this by saying in verses 16 and 17 ‘For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I’.

I had thought that as each of us faces our own Gethsemane, that we need to suffer, but I am impressed that Alma the younger suffered until he cried within his heart ‘O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death. And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.’

I have come to realise that my Gethsemane will have as much suffering as it takes for me to cry within my heart for salvation, saying as Christ is recorded in Luke 22:42 to have said ‘Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.’ The sooner we offer our will to God, the sooner we will remember our pains no more, and be harrowed up by the memory of our sins no more.

We invite you with open arms, as does the Saviour Jesus Christ, whose servants we are, to do good and to come unto Christ, believe in Him, believe Him, and be perfected in Him. Please come back if you have strayed. We need you, and we all need the atonement. 

A miracle in my life at 3 years, 11 months

I was told a few times of an incident in my childhood when I was riding my tricycle and following my sister who was going to visit a friend. Then, unable to stop at the main road, I fell off my tricycle as a truck caught it and carried it some distance along the road. I wanted to use this experience in a talk that I am giving, and so decided to check the details. I asked Judy, Tim and Jane what they recalled, and Judy and Tim had no memory of it. I wonder if they might have been at boarding school at the time, so not aware of it.

First reply from Tim said 'Sorry, I know nothing at all of this event.' 

Then Judy said 'I’m sorry to say I have absolutely no recollection of this event! Therefore… I do not think I was involved?'

Then Jane said

Hi Les
I was the sister involved and I remember very little.   We were going down the hill on Havenga Avenue and the intersection next to the old gaol on Goldman Street was the place. I remember a lady who lived opposite the gaol a couple of houses up from Goldman Street taking me into her home and (I think) phoning Mom.  If you were still riding a tricycle you were probably about 4.
I'm sorry that I cannot give you any more information than that apart from Mom and Dad commenting on how you were protected.
Love
Jane

Since my father kept a daily diary for as long as I could remember, I decided to search his writings to find what he might have recorded. It was a good guess that if I was on a tricycle and had followed my sister some 1.1 km on a tricycle, I must have been somewhere between two and about 5 years of age, probably closer to 4 years as Jane suggested.

Tim has been scanning Dad's Diaries and putting them online so that his descendants and others can review them, and he had completed 1959 (the year that Ronald was born) and part of 1955, but not the intervening years. So, he brought the diaries for me to look through. After scouring three of them, I found what I was looking for. The entry for 23 January 1958, when I was three years and 11 months old, precisely a year before Ronald was born, and about two and a half months before 13 April 1958 when Dad was 'asked to be Transvaal District President' to which he recorded 'Phil and I could not but accept.' Maybe this miracle was fresh in their minds?

The entry for 23 January 1958:

Misty & cloudy am. Cleared pm late to sunny. Heavy clouds again then steady rain in night.

Travelled in with Rambler. 

Walked down to Lasts for Belladonna lunch time. 

A miracle! Jane & Leslie rode down 7th Avenue on Bike and Trike respectively. Leslie unable to stop at Goldman Street & got hit by a lorry. Rushed off to hospital but nothing but bruises & abrasions. A blessed occasion of the ministering of guardian angels. Thanks be to God. I came home at 4 pm. Elders Wright & Butler came to administer to Leslie with me.

Made fudge evening.

Had a letter from Tim - settling down much better. 

I remember Mom surmising that for some reason the tricycle might have swerved causing me to fall off it just before the truck connected with the tricycle and dragged it off, leaving me lying on the road. Whatever happened, I guess my mission on Earth was not yet complete. I am still alive now 56 years and four months later, so I guess my mission is still not accomplished. I hope that I do not fail the Lord!

These two photos from Google Maps Street View show the intersection where this miracle occurred. The slope seems so much less than I remember it being. Walking or cycling, especially at ages 6 to 12 years may cause one to consider it to be steeper! But because of the terracing to construct the road the slope within about ten metres of the road is somewhat steeper than the general slope.

What a blessing to have such a record faithfully kept by my father. My children are not so fortunate. I keep a professional journal at work, and have Blog entries and keep my talks, and some correspondence, but I hope they do not have to look for something like I did. They might not be as fortunate as I was to be able to find out what happened at some specific point in their lives.

It was fascinating to read what he recorded. Elders Naudé and Park (André and Mack?) had lunch with them 17 Aug 1958. He recorded the first American satellite launched 1 Feb 1958, and the first Russian satellite. He recorded that his basic salary was £10 with EA (whatever that means - Executive Assistant or Employee Allowance?) of £5, and Tim's and Jane's glasses cost around £6 each, so relative to a salary of R15000 that would be about R6000. They paid a gardener 8/, presumably for a day's work, equivalent to about R670 compared to that salary of R15000.

I love seeing Mom's writing in Dad's diary. She would communicate with him, reminding him to do something, asking him to do something, or thanking him.

26 February 1958: Thank you Darling for every time you pump my bike, I really meant to thank you last time. This is to make sure I don't forget again. I love you.

4 July 1958: If I'm 3 months pregnant, m. sickness should stop from now. Otherwise another 4 weeks? Heaven help us!

17 April 1958: Nats in with 103 seats to 53 although in minority of votes, by about 30,000 - Democracy! 

26 May 1958: Mr Eb Wells died in hospital after having received a cut from sheet metal car part at Plant.

7 June 1958: Jane, Leslie, Phil & I off to Potch. 8.45 - got there about 10.15, picked up Judy and Tim then off to Lake for day. Out in boat pm. Left there about 6.15 back about 7.45.

I remember those trips to Potchefstroom to fetch Judy from boarding school, and at this time Tim was also there.

17 July 1958: Crisis in Middle East. British troops land in Jordan. Americans in Lebanon.

11 August 1958: Atomic US Submarine 'Nautilus' sailed across earth under North Pole.

4 September 1958 (the anniversary of their wedding): IC [Louw] phoned am to tell of visit of Apostle Harold B. Lee early October to dedicate chapels. Did church work evening - wrote to British Mission re dedicating of Temple and to Pres. David O. McKay for his birthday Sept. 8. Bed by midnight.

I could not find it again, but he recorded the day that parking meters were first used in Johannesburg.

Fascinating, too, to see names of people and cars that I remember, and many that I had forgotten, but reading them bring them to mind again.

He recorded a very busy trip to England and France 25 October to 1 December 1958. His entry of 24 October says 'A hectic day! Received news am to get moving to Paris. Booked for SAA tomorrow pm 3.30.'

Blessed memories! Blessed heritage! Thanks, Mom and Dad!

I thought I would add another two incidents that I recall to do with not stopping at stop streets. Round about 1965 I was cycling to Florida Primary School on my Fairy Cycle, with 16 inch wheels, as I recall, and back-pedal brakes. I was riding down Havenga Avenue to cross The Highway. 

I did not stop at the stop street, and then suddenly heard screeching brakes to the left. A traffic officer was approaching and I think he stopped primarily to teach me a dramatic lesson. After I mumbled an untrue excuse of my brakes not working properly, and he talked to me, he said that he would possibly send me a summons. Boy! Was I frightened! I knew that I deserved to be reprimanded, and I think I thought at the time that he may summons me, but may also just be threatening me to teach me a lesson. But I felt really bad!

Another incident, about 1981, when I was about 27 years of age, I was on my way from our flat in Vredehoek to work or Church and riding my Lambretta scooter.

I approached the stop street, and did slow down to nearly a stop, but I know that it was a rolling stop. As I went around the bend I saw that there were traffic officers watching, and I stopped properly, but probably some 5 m or 10 m beyond the stop street.

Now I am probably about 95 % complaint, still not 100%, though. I think of the average driver over the past year, and whether they are 50 %, 75 %, or what, but certainly not 100 %. I reckon that I am about 95 % compliant. But when someone goes for a driving license test the examiner is not looking how well the candidate performs relative to the average, or to my performance, but to the K53 standard that involves a complete stop, pulling up the hand brake, letting the car out of gear, checking left and right, mirror, blind spots, putting the car in gear, checking mirror and blind spots and traffic conditions all around, then engaging the gear, and when ascertaining that it is safe to proceed, releasing the handbrake and pulling off without a roll.

I wondered how Jesus Christ would do if He were driving. Would he, knowing all and knowing if there were not a hazard, simply proceed without slowing, or if He would slow, or if He would stop, or do the full K53 routine? We teach our children ‘I’m trying to be like Jesus’, but how do we try to be like Jesus when it comes to stopping at stop streets, or whether drivers or simply pedestrians, if we not jaywalk at pedestrian crossings when the light is not green? Surely we need to try to be like Jesus in all aspects of life, not only in the spiritual things? I am trying to be like Jesus. I know that I am not like Him yet, but I sincerely am trying. Not just in how I treat stop streets, but in all aspects of my life.

Upon reading my journal some time after writing this post I came across the following, written Wednesday 9 July 1980, recalling a miracle in my life.

It is time that I write a little report on my close encounter with the sting of death. When I was about 4 years of age, I guess I was not really thinking about the ‘sting’ of death, or, in fact, even of death. As I think back now, all I recall is that I received a plastic model (about 30 cm long) of a Rambler, and even that is extremely vague.

Mom was probably resting, since she was pregnant with Ronald (hence my calculation of my having been about 4 years old) when Jane wanted to go and visit a friend of hers near the Florida Primary School. She climbed onto her fairy cycle (a small bicycle with about 45 cm wheels) and I decided to follow her on my tricycle. This journey involved our crossing Goldman Street, and there is a steep decline approaching Goldman Street, form our side. Well, a fairy cycle has better brakes than does a tricycle, and Jane stopped, and I did not. The brakes not being there probably did not particularly worry me, as I was probably enjoying the sensation of speed, and this seems to be substantiated by the fact that I turned to look over my left shoulder as I overtook Jane, and I apparently laughed and called to her. This probably saved my life for, as I turned, I caused my tricycle to tip over and deposit me on the ground.

Perhaps it was a careful guardian angel who figured that I could better tolerate a few grazes from the road than a collision with a truck that was hurtling along Goldman Street. I was searching for this word as I described my passing Jane – hurtling past would better describe my activity, while the truck was simply going a regular speed along a main road, hardly expecting a tricycle-mounted lad to cross his path. The driver of this truck brought his vehicle to a halt as quickly as he knew as he thought he had killed me, and indeed that would have been expected as he was dragging my tricycle along with him.

Two gentlemen, following this truck, stopped and took me off to hospital where I was treated for bruises and grazes. Mom needed to get to the hospital and the Dinnies were about to drive her there when Dad arrived home unexpectedly after giving someone a lift home at lunchtime. So Dad and Mom came to fetch me from hospital, and that night I received this gift of my plastic Rambler. I do not know where that model is now, but that serves as my only reminder of this experience. 

The next day the driver of the truck came, distraught, to apologize to Mom, who reassured him that I certainly not be counted as having been his fault, or any reflection on his driving, that I came darting out of a side-street.

Jane, in the meantime, was offered a lift home to come and tell Mom about the accident, but was quite determined that she had received strict instructions to never climb into a stranger’s car. So the kind lady who had offered her a lift had to walk home with Jane to come and tell Mom.

There is a lot in that story, and it was clearly a miracle. What is the mission that I must have in life for which my life has been spared at least two distinct occasions? I recorded the other incident in my entry of 18 June 1980 (the incident with the snake in Kloof Gorge, as a missionary in 1973).

Tantrums and SDBs

(This is a repost of an earlier post. I could not sort out some issues with the labels, so I deleted the post and reposted it)

I remember my father and mother teaching me (I guess their frequent repetition meant that I needed to learn it) to drive five hundred metres ahead of myself on the road, anticipating what I would need to do rather than only reacting to the things right where I was, or being surprised by things further down the road when I got to them.

In 1981, when Sally and I went to Salt Lake City for our marriage, my brother asked me to buy him a copy of Eliminating your SDBs at the Brigham Young University Bookstore (Jonathan M Chamberlain, July 1978, ‘Are you a procrastinator? A compulsive eater? A perfectionist? Do you frequently experience feelings of inferiority? Depression? Withdrawal? Are you afraid of relationships? Of other people? Of failure? If you answered yes to any of these self-defeating behaviors so common in our society today, this book is for you.’).

I reflected a great deal on the thought of these Self-Defeating Behaviours (SDBs). For example, think of a couple who have a lovely family of four or five delightful children and how they are all looking forward to a bright future. This family is trying to follow common sense – letting common sense direct their life rather than the physical ‘here and now for me’. They are looking ahead and wanting to prepare for a brighter future, rather than being in the teenage mode where, as I am told, teenagers ‘cannot see beyond Friday night’, or the tantrum mode which is about ‘me and now’: ‘if it is in line with what I want here and now then that is right’. Common sense does not go down well with this childish ‘terrible twos’ mode. Tantrum mode is possibly the ultimate manifestation of SDBs.

Now picture the same family some years later, when their marriage has broken up and their children have grown apart, and one of the parents makes the comment that ‘I have never been happier than I am now’. Think of this situation and compare it with when the family had great capital and frugal ways. At the later time they may have exciting ways but they are eroding their capital. One could equally say ‘I have never been richer’ but the wealth is not sustainable because the capital is being eroded. Instead of a long and bright future in view, they have the ‘me and now’ in view and are happy. The happiness cannot last, however, because its base is eroding. They have lost sight of eliminating SDBs. Note that at the later time the comment ‘I have never been happier’ is not the same as saying ‘I am happier than I have ever been’.

Last Friday night, after again reading about the demise of a great civilization, which was probably the Mayan civilisation, I asked my wife, ‘Are you seeking the promptings of the spirit? Do you receive the promptings of the spirit? Do you follow the promptings of the spirit? Or has the spirit stopped striving with you?’ I think about these questions every time I read the accounts of the Mayans where an entire civilization was destroyed because they were in the throes of an ultimate ‘tantrum mode’. Common sense had completely deserted them and they were being driven purely by ‘me and now’ pride and anger, rather than being sensible and looking ‘five hundred metres down the road’ at their future and letting humility and common sense direct them. Well, I suppose that by the stage that they had reached, their future had been diminished to the lot of a bunch of grumpy old men existing with each other because their wives and children had been killed, and what kind of a future would that be? Well, let me tell their story.

The history recorded by a man called Ether and his predecessor historians indicates that this civilisation had numbered in the millions. After about 1900 years into their recorded history, during which they had had good times of happiness and prosperity, and bad times of war or famine, they reached a point where two factions – one led by a man named Coriantumr, and one led by a man named Shiz – were again at war. The historian Ether came and warned Coriantumr that he was on a path towards destruction if he continued in his war against Shiz. Coriantumr was the king over all the land. The king did not like what Ether was telling him, so Ether was cast out and had to live in exile in a cave. But he went frequently to observe unseen and record the goings-on of his people, and he witnessed and recorded their wars and eventual complete demise.

The demise of this civilisation occurred following a period when some people worked secretly to undermine the king Coriantumr. Coriantumr was cunning in warfare and fought force with force, violence with violence, but he did not employ common sense and wisdom. The death toll was high in the first year of the final period as a result of this guerrilla warfare as the enemies tried to obtain the kingdom.

Ether again warned the king to be guided by right and common sense, but the king persisted in his violent ways rather than teaching right ways. In the third and fourth years there were wars in which the kingdom was alternately taken from, and then retaken by Coriantumr. Rather than there being unity among the people, there were many bands fighting or robbing, and tyranny with people seeking their own gain. Battles prompted by anger raged in which either side prevailed, then lost ground again, and many, many lives were lost, and all the people were shedding blood and there was none to restrain them because the king was wounded and recuperating during a period of some five years.

Then, for some two years, there was a total lack of personal security as all were at risk of having their tools or weapons stolen. As tyranny prevailed, many thousands died as new contenders arose to try to take the kingdom. Families of killed leaders rose in vengeance trying to take the kingdom and, as usual, the general populace were the losers as a small minority of individuals sought for power. The last contender, who was trying to avenge his brother, was named Shiz, and the battles raged and the land was littered with dead bodies, the war being so much the order of the day that there was nobody to bury the dead. Now it was not only the warfare, but also the stench of rotting corpses that made life miserable. But Shiz persisted in his vengeance for his brother who had been killed by Coriantumr.

Shiz battled and pursued the king, but the battle turned and Coriantumr then pursued the armies of Shiz, who in their retreat killed any of the population who would not join their cause. Later, Coriantumr was in a position of advantage in a fortress, and maintained his position despite being seriously wounded. Shiz lost much ground and many people and withdrew.

At this point, Coriantumr was trying to follow common sense as more than two million of his people, in addition to their wives and children, had been killed, and he realised that he and Shiz were in a lose-lose situation. Although Coriantumr was prepared to give up his kingdom to spare the people, they were too angry and did not want to give in to Shiz. The people of Shiz were also angry and wanted to finish the war at all costs. The battle raged and progressed day by day, moving from place to place due to a continuous cycle of pursuit and retreat.

Finally, everyone was gathered into the two armies in one place for their final battle, except Ether who remained to chronicle the events. For four years each army gathered all the support that they could for this final battle, gathering men and their wives and children. Following the first day when there was no clear victor, there was great mourning and sorrow in the camps. Coriantumr again tried to make peace in order to spare the people, but Shiz and the people were blinded by rage and anger and would not accept any peace treaty. They fought day after day, out of control in their blinded state. This continued day after day until fifty two men remained to battle against sixty nine men. The next day it was down to thirty two against twenty seven.

Still they fought! I guess they had lost sight of any future because they were acting senselessly, and after all, what future was there? There were only a bunch of miserable men remaining as all of the soft targets, their wives and children had been killed. What was there left except to kill or be killed? Finally it was only Shiz and Coriantumr left, and Coriantumr killed Shiz. He was now left, a lone man, except for Ether, but he clearly was not about to welcome Ether back into his company. So Ether finished his record, and Coriantumr wandered and was eventually found by a people of another civilisation, probably either the Incas or Aztecs, forefathers of the American Indians who also discovered the record left by Ether.

But, as sad as this tale is, this other civilisation that took in the aged Coriantumr did not learn from it and they also had factions who battled with each other, until the entire destruction of one of those factions some five hundred years after Coriantumr and Shiz had their last battle. Thus were left the people who survived to be discovered by the explorers Pizarro, Cortez and Columbus some 11 centuries later.

But really – are there intelligent adults who give way to SDBs? Come now – don’t be melodramatic! Well, let me see...

We have just been all too aware of farm workers striking near De Doorns in the Western Cape in November 2012. I was among many people who had to divert their route of travel away from the N1 to bypass the action. Here are a group of labourers who want more income than they were getting. Now, that sounds reasonable, because inflation keeps on making any income become less than adequate, and labourers generally receive a pittance to start with. So, they express their wish for higher wages. But the SDBs involved are that they then burn down the vineyards of their employers. How can a farmer pay any worker if he has no vineyards from which to harvest grapes to sell in order to have any income with which to pay his workers? So, instead of higher wages, they now face no wages. Does this sound like the ridiculous story of the couple who killed the goose that laid golden eggs, or what?

And what about abused husbands or wives who remain in their abusive marriages because they lack the self esteem or confidence to leave the destructive situations?

What about the abusive partner? Marriage is between two people who, according to the marriage covenant, become one flesh. So the abuser is using self destructive behaviour because he or she is destroying that ‘one flesh’ of which he or she is an integral part of the whole.

It is unfortunate indeed that all too many people lose their perspective and lose focus on their future ‘five hundred metres ahead of them’ and just live for the ‘me and now’ and common sense leaves them. They cease seeking for common sense or guidance by their conscience, or following their conscience, or even become devoid of conscience. They do not seek or desire the guidance of the spirit, or if they receive it, they do not follow it, or even get to the point that the spirit ceases striving with them because they have become clearly opposed to that guidance.

Whatever your belief, in spirit or common sense, I hope that you can relate to these situations and can recognise the need to take a decision to not be guided by anger, despair or any Self-Defeating Behaviour and lose common sense, but to eliminate your SDBs and follow a course of common decency or common sense. Don’t get to the point where there is no future worth anything as in the case of Coriantumr and his grumpy old men. Life is worth living. There is a brighter future that is worth preparing for, and that should be our most earnest desire. This really can only come when we are in harmony with each other as opposed to when we are pursuing ‘me and now’ – being in tantrum mode. I hope that each of you may find the joy of love and harmony with a wonderful bright outlook for the future.

Some thoughts regarding love and same gender attraction

I don’t often speak out on the subject of same gender attraction, but following yet another defence of homosexuality by a friend whose son is gay, and whose returned missionary friend had just declared that he is gay, I have felt the need to stop putting off doing so. I recognise that someone may take out of context some of the things I say, but that is their problem. I trust that in context these words are in full harmony with the Gospel.

This is me on my honeymoon in 1981, I think this was in Disneyland in Los Angeles 

where we went after going from Cape Town to Salt Lake City to be sealed in the Temple

I still love my wife who is my dearest friend. 

We are delighted to have a wonderful family of 5 children and 10 grandchildren (Feb 2022).

To start with, I feel that it is essential to stress that love is a divine characteristic, and that we are commanded to love.

We are commanded to ‘love the Lord thy God with all of our heart, and with all your soul’ (Deuteronomy 13:3), and ‘with all thy mind, and with all thy strength’ (Mark 12:30). That is pretty deep.

We are commanded to ‘love thy neighbour as thyself’ (Luke10:27). That, too is pretty deep.

We are commanded to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44).

Young women are to be taught ‘to love their husbands, to love their children’ (Titus 2:4).

So I am commanded to love my neighbour, and that includes male and female. I am commanded to love my children and I do indeed love them – I adore them. I am not quite that good about loving some of my neighbours. Some are really not that lovable.

So – there is little confusion about the fact that love for all is part of what God wants us to have. Love is a divine nature, God is love (1 John 1:8) and as we become like Him we need to learn to love.

I learned a lot as a parent, reading in chapter 4 of A Parent's Guide about interpersonal relationships.

• ‘Courteous relationships are the basis of civilized behavior’, and are appropriate between friends, neighbours, strangers, even towards enemies. Imagine what the world would be like if we all treated every other person with courtesy?
• ‘Affection is natural and is mostly associated with family relations’. This is more intense than courtesy, but it includes courtesy. Shaking hands would be courteous, holding hands would be affectionate.
• ‘Intimate relationships are deeper and longer lasting than others and are more intense. Within such relationships are very strong emotions.’ Intimacy includes affection and courtesy. Intimacy is appropriate within a marriage relationship, but certainly not appropriate between strangers.

This is where the philosophies of the world make this so very blurred. They equate love with intimacy, or they treat intimacy or sex as synonyms of love. But love, properly expressed, would never be selfish or lustful.

Someone said that the sex scene in the movie Titanic was alright because ‘they were so much in love’. But where is the ‘so much in love’ in the case of a couple having sex when high on drugs, or when emotions run away with two colleagues in an inappropriate situation together, or with the soldiers raping the women of the village that they invaded? The ‘so much in love’ was with sex as an object and not with love for the other person. It was ‘so much in love’ with lust and not love for the other son or daughter of God involved.

I love my children, but if I were to jump into bed with them, that would not be love, but lust. The same goes for incestuous relationships with parents, siblings, or any other family members. It is absolutely appropriate for men to love men and women to love women, but that does not make it appropriate to jump into bed with someone. Love in the divine way of loving would actually mean the direct opposite of such inappropriate sexual relationships. Love would defend the virtue of another, not rob others of ‘that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue’ (Mormon 9:9).

As the world synonymises love and lust, so they say that an appropriate way of expressing love is to have sexual relationships. But love is a divine characteristic, and lust is a carnal, sensual and devilish (Mosiah16:3) characteristic, very appealing to the natural man or woman. And so Satan lulls anyone willing to give in to the natural man into carnal security. The tragedy is that as it is so appealing to the natural man, they become effectively shut out from the presence of God. (Moses 6:49)

God would have us love our enemies – he loves His enemies. But His enemies certainly do not love God. So, let me end off with this quote from Mosiah 3:19. ‘For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.’

It is important to note that some, maybe all, of those who have same gender attraction may be simply feeling the love that Heavenly Father intends for us to have. There are people who are very active in proselyting the Gay Rights movement who try to persuade the person that it is a sexual attraction. But, just as it is sinful to act on lustful desires to have sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex outside of marriage, and because it is contrary to the eternal plan of eternal marriage in which man and woman are married for eternity, it is sinful to extend the love for anyone into sexual relations outside of marriage. The sin is not in feeling love – that is good. The sin is in committing sexual sin outside of marriage. It is important to note that homosexual behaviour can be forgiven through sincere repentance (Handbook 2: Administering the Church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 21.4.6). The key is to have an understanding of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the process of repentance, and the purpose of our mortal life as our opportunity to learn to become like our Heavenly parents.

I hope and pray that you will carefully ponder these things and then ask God the Eternal Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, if these things are not true. I am absolutely confident that he will manifest the truth of it to you through the power of the Holy Ghost. Love is a divine nature, and would never allow lustful behaviour which would destroy that very divine love in hetero-sexual, homo-sexual, or any relationships. 

I felt impressed add more thoughts that you might be interested in reading. See 

'A promise of an eternal marriage for LGBTQ+ individuals - well, for anyone'.

A 'Homeless debate' on social media - US or THEM - which am I?

Some thoughts regarding callings as we embark on the course of forming a new stake

Today we experienced the splitting of the Cape Town South Africa Stake of Zion to form the Bellville South Africa Stake of Zion.

I am amused that the Cape Town Stake does not include Cape Town, and the Bellville stake includes both Cape Town and Bellville.

Yesterday, as I was working on installing a door, I had one of my sessions of scripture study without any scriptures in my hands. These can be among my most powerful study sessions as my hands are busy weeding or doing things and my brain is studying the scriptures that I have in my memory banks. I was pondering a theme that has been on my mind for a few days, anticipating a possible call for me to be interviewed for the organisation of the stake. Here are some of the thoughts that went through my mind.

I wonder how many of us would call someone who really was prejudiced and rebellious to serve a mission? But the Lord called Jonah to go and preach the Gospel in Nineveh. Jonah really did not care for the people of Nineveh. He ran off in the opposite direction. When he realised that his decision was threatening the lives of other people on the ship on which he was trying to escape his assignment, he had them throw him overboard. We might say to ourselves that he really was not appropriate for our mission objectives and give up on him and call someone else, but the Lord sent a great fish to help Jonah to shore, and to give him some time to reflect and repent.

Well, Jonah did go and preach, and was successful, but he was miserable because his prejudice made him not want to share his exclusive club of salvation in the Kingdom of God with the people of Nineveh who he really did not like. So he sulked and moaned and whined. And the Lord continued to be patient with him, trying to get him to rise to his potential for greatness.

Another example – would we call someone who to promote the work was really working hard to interfere with the Work of Salvation? Would we call someone who was really not worthy of a Temple Recommend to serve? The Lord sent an angel to a group of youths who were on their way to disrupt the Church. He called them to serve as his missionaries. He called them to repent. He gave Alma the Younger three days’ time for repenting, during which time his heart was harrowed up so that it would be prepared for the service to which he had been called. Would we say – ‘no, he is not worthy’ and look for someone else, or would we take the risk with someone and call him and let him decide whether or not he will repent and accept the challenge to become softened and worthy of a Temple Recommend? I argue that the Lord does not wait for people to wander into worthiness – he challenges them up-front and that makes the difference in their lives.

Another interesting case is an avowed enemy of the Church – not even a member, someone who is going off to persecute the Saints. But the Lord sent an angel to call Saul of Tarsus and let him recognise that it is hard to kick against the pricks. He let Saul repent, and then sent the member of the local unit. This member, presumably a leader, was really hesitant, and asked the Lord if He knew who this man was and what he had been doing to the Saints? I mean, really – he was a bad oke! But the Lord reassured Ananias that this was his work and that Saul was a chosen vessel. And Saul rose to the occasion.

I have heard many stories of people called who really were not worthy at the time for their calls, but who put their lives in order and became worthy, and were commendable in the way that they magnified their callings. Elder Ted R. Callister spoke in the October 2013 General Conference about calling an unworthy man as a stake clerk in the Glendale stake. I remember in the book The Challenge from my mission days 1973-1975 I can’t find the book and cannot recall the author), about a stake president visiting a less active brother who would not return to Church because he did not approve of his bishop and others. The stake president challenged this brother to attend ward conference the next day to sustain his new bishop. Upon being asked who that would be, he was told “You!” Was he worthy to hold a Temple Recommend? No. Did he very promptly become worthy? Yes. And he served excellently as the bishop.

I remember Robert Sackley, a regional representative, telling of how he was called as bishop of half of a ward that was divided. The leaders had proposed a dividing line that would split the ward evenly in terms of active members. But the authorities used a different dividing line such that when the ward was divided one half that was predominantly less active and he was called to preside over that half. Within a year his ward was more active than the other ward. How could that be without him having called unworthy people to lead? And did that call not bring them into activity because of the challenge?

I have long felt that the Temple Recommend interview can be a very powerful spiritual experience. If a member is invited in, and all questions asked, right up to ‘Do you consider yourself worthy to participate in the ordinances of the Temple?’ they can feel the Spirit and realise what in their lives is not in harmony with the Gospel. It does not have the same impact if one stops after three questions and says “Oh no, you won’t qualify” and stop there. I also feel to start the interview with reminding the member that I am simply asking the questions on behalf of the lord, and that their answers are given to the Lord, not just to me. It is also sometimes appropriate to remind them that the Lord knows the answer to each and every question, but asks because we need to experience of accounting for our lives. I am struck by the fact that the Lord knows all things, but he asked Cain “Where is thy brother Abel?” He asked the woman who touched the skirt of His garment “Who touched me?” He asked Peter “Lovest thou me?” And He asked that three times! But Peter needed to answer more than the Lord needed to ask.

I have also witnessed the power of going through all thirteen Articles of Faith and after reciting each ask “Now, what do you believe?” I insist that they declare what they do believe, not what they do not believe. That brings a powerful spirit into the room and can bring about a life-changing experience.

I remember about 1970 or so my sister Judy telling of a sister (the daughter of the mission president at the time) who told of a powerful call to serve. I have often reflected on that as I have interviewed people to issue a call to serve. I have realised that it is essential to lay a solid foundation before the person being interviewed knows anything about a call. I schedule the interview with adequate time to discuss their lives, their interests, their talents, their time and family commitments and during all of this process I am seeking the confirmation of the Spirit that this call is right for them. If I do not get that confirmation the interview is ended without the person knowing why there was an interview. However, if I do get that confirmation then I am absolutely confident in saying “The Lord wants you to serve as such-and-such” and I have almost never had someone decline a calling when following this process. But I have been in interviews where the first words are “We want to call you to such-and-such a position” and somehow the spirit is just not as strong as when it is without doubt a call from the Lord.

Our two stakes need to grow. We can grow. May the Lord bless us to have a powerful Spirit about us so that we can rise to the level and potential that He wants us to achieve!