I don’t often speak out on the subject of same gender
attraction, but following yet another defence of homosexuality by a friend
whose son is gay, and whose returned missionary friend had just declared that
he is gay, I have felt the need to stop putting off doing so. I recognise that
someone may take out of context some of the things I say, but that is their
problem. I trust that in context these words are in full harmony with the
Gospel.
This is me on my honeymoon in 1981, I think this was in Disneyland in Los Angeles
where we went after going from Cape Town to Salt Lake City to be sealed in the Temple
I still love my wife who is my dearest friend.
We are delighted to have a wonderful family of 5 children and 10 grandchildren (Feb 2022).
To start with, I feel that it is essential to stress that love is a divine characteristic, and that we are commanded to love.
We are commanded to ‘love the Lord thy God with all of our
heart, and with all your soul’ (Deuteronomy 13:3), and ‘with all thy mind, and
with all thy strength’ (Mark 12:30). That is pretty deep.
We are commanded to ‘love thy neighbour as thyself’ (Luke10:27). That, too is pretty deep.
We are commanded to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44).
Young women are to be taught ‘to love their husbands, to
love their children’ (Titus 2:4).
So I am commanded to love my neighbour, and that includes
male and female. I am commanded to love my children and I do indeed love them –
I adore them. I am not quite that good about loving some of my neighbours. Some
are really not that lovable.
So – there is little confusion about the fact that love for
all is part of what God wants us to have. Love is a divine nature, God is love
(1 John 1:8) and as we become like Him we need to learn to love.
I learned a lot as a parent, reading in chapter 4 of A Parent's Guide about interpersonal relationships.
- ‘Courteous relationships are the basis of civilized behavior’, and are appropriate between friends, neighbours, strangers, even towards enemies. Imagine what the world would be like if we all treated every other person with courtesy?
- ‘Affection is natural and is mostly associated with family relations’. This is more intense than courtesy, but it includes courtesy. Shaking hands would be courteous, holding hands would be affectionate.
- ‘Intimate relationships are deeper and longer lasting than others and are more intense. Within such relationships are very strong emotions.’ Intimacy includes affection and courtesy. Intimacy is appropriate within a marriage relationship, but certainly not appropriate between strangers.
This is where the philosophies of the world make this so
very blurred. They equate love with intimacy, or they treat intimacy or sex as
synonyms of love. But love, properly expressed, would never be selfish or
lustful.
Someone said that the sex scene in the movie Titanic was alright because ‘they were
so much in love’. But where is the ‘so much in love’ in the case of a couple
having sex when high on drugs, or when emotions run away with two colleagues in
an inappropriate situation together, or with the soldiers raping the women of
the village that they invaded? The ‘so much in love’ was with sex as an object
and not with love for the other person. It was ‘so much in love’ with lust and
not love for the other son or daughter of God involved.
I love my children, but if I were to jump into bed with
them, that would not be love, but lust. The same goes for incestuous
relationships with parents, siblings, or any other family members. It is
absolutely appropriate for men to love men and women to love women, but that
does not make it appropriate to jump into bed with someone. Love in the divine
way of loving would actually mean the direct opposite of such inappropriate
sexual relationships. Love would defend the virtue of another, not rob others
of ‘that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity
and virtue’ (Mormon 9:9).
As the world synonymises love and lust, so they say that an
appropriate way of expressing love is to have sexual relationships. But love is
a divine characteristic, and lust is a carnal, sensual and devilish (Mosiah16:3) characteristic, very appealing to the natural man or woman. And so Satan
lulls anyone willing to give in to the natural man into carnal security. The
tragedy is that as it is so appealing to the natural man, they become
effectively shut out from the presence of God. (Moses 6:49)
God would have us love our enemies – he loves His enemies.
But His enemies certainly do not love God. So, let me end off with this quote
from Mosiah 3:19. ‘For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from
the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the
enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a
saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child,
submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all
things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth
submit to his father.’
It is important to note that some, maybe all, of those who
have same gender attraction may be simply feeling the love that Heavenly Father
intends for us to have. There are people who are very active in proselyting the
Gay Rights movement who try to persuade the person that it is a sexual
attraction. But, just as it is sinful to act on lustful desires to have sexual
relations with a member of the opposite sex outside of marriage, and because it
is contrary to the eternal plan of eternal marriage in which man and woman are
married for eternity, it is sinful to extend the love for anyone into sexual
relations outside of marriage. The sin is not in feeling love – that is good.
The sin is in committing sexual sin outside of marriage. It is important to
note that homosexual behaviour can be forgiven through sincere repentance (Handbook 2: Administering the
Church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 21.4.6). The
key is to have an understanding of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the process
of repentance, and the purpose of our mortal life as our opportunity to learn to
become like our Heavenly parents.
I hope and pray that you will carefully ponder these things
and then ask God the Eternal Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, if these
things are not true. I am absolutely confident that he will manifest the truth of
it to you through the power of the Holy Ghost. Love is a divine nature, and
would never allow lustful behaviour which would destroy that very divine love
in hetero-sexual, homo-sexual, or any relationships.
I felt impressed add more thoughts that you might be interested in reading. See
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